Wednesday, 8 January 2014

Why Hugging is Essential to Your Relationship

If there's one way I know that my husband and I are in need of a little relationship reboot, it's the fact that we are less physically affectionate.

And I'm not talking about the bedroom, although that is a very real part of it as well, but I'm talking about more of your general, day-to-day little forms of affection.

The kisses goodbye, the hugs at the door, the hand-holding out and about.

Under the stress of work, kids, and life in general, I always notice that when I am feeling particularly stressed, those little love signs are the first to go.

I don't know about you, but I have the unfortunate little habit of distancing myself from my husband when I'm feeling overwhelmed. I start thinking he can't understand my work-at-home mom world, that I will bring him down with my complaining, that I'm not doing my wifely "duties" well enough by making a home that is miserable for him to come home to.

But as it would turn out, I am actually doing the very worst possible thing a woman can do when her relationship times are tough.

Because the easiest and most effective way to ensure that our union is a happy one?
Is all in the hug.

According to, hugs are important on so many different levels, but most importantly, on a relationship level.

Hugs force you to physically, and therefore, emotionally and spiritually connect. It's a conscious act to stop whatever you are doing and choose to be in the moment with your partner. You are saying, in a literal sense, "You matter to me. I choose you." Not only are you opening yourself up to receive love again, but you are giving love as well - which, when you think about it, is kind of the point of any relationship, right?

The hug will open the lines of communication and release tension in any relationship. I mean, really, have you ever tried to stay mad at your husband after a really long, drawn-out hug? It's virtually impossible not to break down into a smile of some sort. Sometimes, my husband will purposely bear hug me before I'm ready to make-up, which, of course, makes me mad … but I still can't help but laugh.

Hugging also affects us on a cellular level, which a lot of us are aware of, but still, it is amazing when you think about it - that the mere act of being close to the one we love releases "happy chemicals" like serotonin, oxytocin, and even boosts our immune system - it is nothing short of really incredible.

And, as states, hugging is more than fleeting moments of intertwined bodies; it's actually a moment of giving back to your relationship.

"The energy exchange between the people hugging is an investment in the relationship. It encourages empathy and understanding. And, it's synergistic, which means the whole is more than the sum of its parts: 1 1 = 3 or more! This synergy is more likely to result in win-win outcomes," the website reads.
It's free, it's simple, and it's something that just may keep your relationship alive.
Someone kindly remind me of that the next time I'm mad at my husband, ok?
Because you know the last thing I will want to do is give him a hug …

-By Chaunie Brusie

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